As I sit her in my room, watching Brittany color, I can't stop thinking about my junior year of high school. This was one of the worst year of my life. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, I was losing one of my best friends, I couldn't seem to make sense of anything at all. It felt like the year was going to last forever. But, here I am: sitting on my futon, listening to pandora, procrastinating homework, mentally preparing for the FLP dinner, and watching brittany doing something she enjoys. I love that feeling you get when you see someone doing something they love so so much. I love seeing people happy and just knowing that everything is okay. College has been that feeling to me. I'm in a city I love, with people I love and who love me back. I'm doing something I love (learning), to prepare to do something I love for the rest of my life. It is certainly strenuous to think that in three and 1/2 short years, I and my entire class, will be out in the world, finally away from school, but back to being a novice in every sense of the word.

I've been loving every moment of school so far. FLP has been keeping me busy! We have our thanksgiving dinner tonight and to say we are stressed is an extreme understatement! There have been a LOT of bumps along the road, but we are all trying our best to be ducks. This is a concept we learned from one of our speakers at a seminar a few weeks back. He told us when you are planning an event, remember a few things:

1. Something WILL go wrong.
2. Everything WILL turn out okay.
3. Be a duck - Calm on the outside even though you are panicking on the inside
4. Trust others to help you out along the way.

So far, all of these statements have rung true, and everyone has been beyond helpful throughout the entire process. Even though we are all on our own committees, those don't put up boundaries for us. Everyone has been SO helpful! (Be checking for pictures coming soon). 

I went to breakfast with Claire last weekend before it got too cold. We walked down to wheat fields and I had a nutella crepe and Claire had waffles. We both ordered the "creamiest hot chocolate in Omaha" and it's true, it was amazing!

I have never loved Starbucks more than I have in the past few weeks. The bitter cold is very harsh as I walk from class to class, and Green Mountain Coffee just doesn't cut it. Peppermint mochas have gotten me through so much stress! Words cannot thank Starbucks in the caliber they deserve. 

I also joined the BluJ radio! Claire and I have a show together on Thursday nights called "wavelengths". We get to run the sound board and play with mics and most importantly play music we love listening to, for others! It's great fun! Claire has become a very close friend of mine throughout these past few months, and I'm so beyond grateful to have her! We are very similar in many different ways! I can always count on her for a good laugh, or a deep conversation! We're always finding something to keep us busy! She is one of the few people here on campus that just gets me. Our friendship is funny in that way; we don't have to explain things in the same way we would have to for others. We both understand. 

The Nebraska sunsets continue to amaze me. Living in the penthouse of Kiewit makes these moments all the more special. I not only get to see the amazing sunset, but I get to see it over the entire city of Omaha! 

I have made so many amazing friends and I can't wait to see where this second half of first semester takes me! So much excitement happening! 

written a few days ago...

College has been quite the adventure so far. Besides the fact that I sometimes still feel like an 8th grade girl trying to make friends (ironically) at a non christian summer camp. (If you didn’t catch this the first time around, that last sentence was ironic because I go to a catholic college. It’s also slightly confusing because I’m not catholic… I’m just as confused right now as you are, so just try to keep up with me! sorry!)

College has been quite the adventure so far. Besides the fact that I sometimes still feel like an 8th grader trying to make friends at a non christian summer camp, I think I’m finally starting to get things down. I’ve figured out my schedule (including where all of the buildings are which was one of the hardest parts!), and I’m continuing to make more friends! The FLPers truly are the best thing that has happened to me so far here at Creighton! Each one of these people has such a vibrant and energetic personality which keeps our floor constantly busy with something, which has been vital for the first few days here as I still try to figure it all out. 

Here in FLP, we have groups of six that we call our “families”. Mine is obviously the best (shout out to the Jamaican kiwis!). Along with the six students in each group, we are assigned two mentors (mom and dad) who are sophomores that participated in the Freshman Leadership Program last year. We are committed to doing service at least once a week with our families, but there are plenty of other service projects to get involved in around campus! My family goes to a kids club every week to tutor, play with, and simply be there for the kids! I’m beyond excited to go experience this for the first time this upcoming week! I’m praying that Jesus really prepares my family for these kids, and these kids for us! 

The “Skutt Shutdown” (activity involvement fair) was just last night and it was such a blast of pure energy and happiness. I sang a karaoke duet to “Summer Lovin’” from Grease with my dear friend Ashley, and I signed up for around 12 activities too many, (SINCE WHEN DOES CREIGHTON HAVE A RADIO?! OMG!) but thats okay! Because at least I’m going to find something that will work with my schedule and interests! 

Even though I am making some stunning friendships here so far, I am missing my high school friends so very dearly! With all of them either in western nebraska, or iowa, and Caitlin being in Paris (I still hate you for that) it’s a lot harder than I expected! There was a night last week where this “home-sick” feeling hit me really hard. I sat there trying to figure out why I was feeling homesick. I was still living in Omaha, so it wasn’t the distance (although I feel farther from home than I ever have before), and I had just seen my parents when this feeling swept over me, so I knew it wasn’t because I was wanting to see them, but I couldn’t figure it out. Suddenly, almost out of the blue, it hit me; there wasn’t the same feeling of love here on campus among my peers that there was back at Westwood, Millard North, or the Tauber home. There was no one that I could just walk up and hug without it being completely bizarre. I realized that I couldn’t just walk up to someone and say “I love you,” and expect to get the same response back. I started to worry about stupid things and I started to wonder what I was even doing here.

One of my friends is taking a gap year to travel around the world doing mission work and she won’t be able to see her family for nine months. Why am I feeling homesick when she’s going to be on the other side of the world for nine months without a single visit and I’m right down the street? I didn’t understand it, and I never tried to understand it. All I knew is that I wanted this feeling to go away. I have been surrounded by love and support from so many different people so far, and for that I am incredibly thankful! I have to believe that Creighton is where I belong and it is a part of this giant plan that God has for me. I have to believe that that exists. 

Just yesterday my friend and I were talking about majors. We both came into college with a plan, a map of how everything was going to work out. It’s week three and that plan has already significantly changed. I had always loved the idea of being a journalist, but I think I’m slowly finding out that is the only piece of it that I fell in love with… just the idea. I love traveling and if I could just travel and sight see as my job, I would do anything for that! But, that’s not how the world works. So, I have to find a new dream and do everything I can to get it. 

I'm going to do my best to continue to post here as regularly as I can but who knows with my crazy schedule! Thanks for taking the time to read this! 

God Bless!

Kailyn